Oh, Maggie Gyllenhaal. You look like that cool older girl who works at the record store and likes to talk to me about The Swans and early Pavement albums. Then we’d laugh and then your boyfriend who worked in the metal and rockabilly section would come over and kiss you on the cheek and give me the stink eye and bum me out because he knew that I had a crush on her. TOTALLY bummed me out. you’d think “dude you already work in a record store you can’t ALSO take my record store crush thats SO NOT COOL, DUDE”. BROS BEFORE HOS. never forget. ugh. i hated that guy. he’d ring me up sometimes and i’d be like “uh, hey cool shirt” and he’d just kinda nod. i mean who does that? what are you, the Fonz? are you some badass from a PG movie? do you wear sunglasses indoors? fucking asshole.
huh. what? what was i talking about? jesus. i’ve gotta stop smoking weed before hopping on Google Image search. i’ve gotta have some deep seated jealousy issues. oh man. oh geez. i should order pizza.
